Don't get too hopeful.

We were hoping Melanie would make it two months.

She made it two weeks.

Cancer sucks.

http://positiveoutlier.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/a-gift-of-love/

I FLIPPIN LOVE KATIE ARMIGER

Just thought I'd put that out there.. :)

Little Miss Erika

Why I have to be in Alabama....

On January 19th.

I figured maybe, if I did this post, somehow, somewhere, my father would read it.. (hi dad!) and figure out why he needs to take me to Alabama on January 19th to see Katie Armiger in concert with my favorite person.. in the world... Sara Jean.

1) Airline tickets are DANG cheap over the few days I want to go. Our flights last month were about 800 per person.. these are only 250ish. HELLO. I could pay for that myself if he made me.

2) Don't know what is going on with the traveling business, but hotels are dirt cheap too. The Marriott down there is only 80 per night. Usually we can get like, a Townsplace for that. BUT DANG GIRL. A full service Marriott. PRO.

3) Katie Facebooked me today saying she would love to meet me. If that's not enough I don't know what is.

4) Katie tweeted me saying if we made it down she would give both my dad and I a hug... um. BURN. HELLO. WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED. PERFECTION RIGHT THERE.

5) Um. Sara. Hello. I can't live without her. I've been away from her for like, a month, and I'm dying.

6) I'll totally do this instead of going to multiple Sugar concerts next year.

7) I will get down on my hands and knees and beg you if that helps.

8) It's Katie Armiger. What other reason do you need.

9) It's Sara Jean. What other reason do you need.

10) It's gonna be PERFECT. What other reason is there to give.

Words won't help to heal what hurt you.

I'm addicted to this song.

It speaks for itself.

30 hours of PERFECTION

Wednesday night Sara texted me... she said she won more free tickets to CMA Country Christmas (For those of you that don't know what that is.. it's a Christmas music program that's recorded in Nashville every year. Big stars. Like. Jennifer Nettles hosts it.). I got all jealous and called her lucky. All that stuff. She said I could have them if I got my butt down there and I told her that's impossible. It was impossible.
Well I went home and told my dad.


And he booked us a flight.

So here I am. 4 nights later. After spending around 30 hours with the most amazing person this world has ever seen. Yes. I finally met Sara Jean.

We landed in Memphis Wednesday night, stayed in a Courtyard (Marriott) outside of town. Then woke up the next morning and headed off to Nashville...

It was a three hour drive from where we were to our hotel. And Sara and I texted each other the whole way there. Every mile we would count down together. Sara was a little behind us due to the fact that she was still in school when my dad and I left, and it was about the same distance between her place and Nashville as it was from Memphis. So my dad and I stopped at Loretta Lynn's ranch and got some lunch... hit the road again and made it to Nashville. We went and checked into our hotel, then called Sara to see where she was at. They were pulling into downtown, so my dad and I got back in the car and drove to downtown to meet them at Bridgestone Arena. It took us FOREVER to get a parking spot... we finally found one about two blocks from the venue. We parked and headed to the arena, and if we're confessing here, every bone in my body was shaking. I don't know if it was excited or nervous shaking.. but I was shaking. Like. Earthquake in my body shaking. We turned the corner and I saw her. I practically ran across the street and tackled her in a hug. We hugged for well on a few good minutes. Then we went inside this little welcome center thing off of the Bridgestone and took a few pictures.

"Well that shrimp can't shake it very well for Luke Bryan..."

Sara, her mom and I then left Bridgestone to go check into there hotel... don't ask me where my dad went, let alone do I really care. I was with Sara for heavens sake. Jennifer Nettles could've been standing next to me and I wouldn't have cared. My dad picked us up from their hotel and then we went and parked before the place got crowded for the CMA Country Christmas program. We walked down Broadway a little bit and then stopped for dinner at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. Sara and I had coconut shrimp. Yummy. After Margaritaville we went to Bridgestone to get in line for our seats. Doors opened and we filed up to the Club Level. The artists were still sound checking when we got up there. We got to listen to a little pre-concert, if you will.

The doors finally opened and we got front row seats on the 3rd level up. We were close enough that during the concert, if we shouted, the stars could hear us. Sara and I shouted "We love you Jennifer!" to Ms. Nettles and she replied "Love you too! Merry Christmas! Thanks yall!"

We kinda died.

After that we got a point, a salute, and a wave from Keith Urban. A wave from Jimi, Phillip, and Kimberly of Little Big Town, a little flip from Kellie Pickler, a wave from Faith Hill, another wave from Martina McBride, and a wave from Joe Don of Rascal Flatts.

"Pretend like you're playing guitar.."

BEST NIGHT EVER.

After the concert, we dropped Sara and her mom off at their hotel, and we headed back to our. Got to bed and woke early the next morning to go find a little something for Sara I've been looking for weeks on end. Still couldn't find it, so we headed back to the hotel and Sara came over. We went up to the lounge so I could played guitar for her while we sang together. We did Shut up Train and Fly Away, and a little bit of Cold as Stone but that didn't go terribly well. After that we headed out to the Grand Ole Opry, where Sara got a Thompson Square autographed CD, which we then listened to on our way to the Gaylord Opryland Hotel. What an amazing thing to sing "I Got You" with Sara and actually have my arms around her... wow.

We then went exploring the Gaylord and took a boat tour... inside. It was pretty cool. We stayed there for a while waiting for my dad as he was taking a conference call. He met back up with us and then we headed to Bob Evans for lunch, where none other than Little Miss was playing.

After lunch we headed back into downtown. We went to the Country Music Walk of Fame (I think it's something like that..) and took pictures with all of the stars. There were tons. We got Keith, Rascal Flatts, Martina, Josh Turner... all of them (:

Then we headed back to Bridgestone to reenact the moment that we met. We ran all slow-mo to each other. Looked pretty cool if you ask me. People probably thought we were dorks crashing into each other like that but as for Sara and I, we enjoyed it. We also took pictures with the signs on the light poles for CMA awards and CMA Country Christmas. Jenn looks good on a light pole ladies and gentlemen.

We then headed down Broadway again and went shopping for matching shirts and souvenirs. When we were all finished up, we met up with my dad again and headed back to the Gaylord to drop Sara off at her car. We went inside for a bit while waiting for one of Sara's friends who was going to meet us there, stayed about 40 minutes and when her friend didn't show up Sara's mom said it was time to leave. We went out to the car to say goodbye.. and I completely lost it...

Now. Usually when I say lost it. I mean I cry. But this time. I bawled. I bawled like I've never bawled before.

This isn't just a friend. Sara isn't. She's way more then that to me.

And you never want to say goodbye.

So it wasn't pretty.

We hugged for a long time, then my dad made me get in the car and her mom for her. After they left I bawled for almost two hours straight.. ("My eyes are dehydrated..") while texting Sara the whole time. I know. I felt smart.

Once I finally stopped bawling I fell in bed exhausted. Woke up the next morning, went to breakfast and headed back over to the Opry again. Got a shirt and an autographed Justin Moore CD, then headed over to the Nashville Zoo. (My dad's a zoo guy.. personally. I think they're all the same.) We then went back into downtown and went to the Country Music Hall of Fame... impressive museum they have there. We went down to the Nashville temple... where were exactly 4 hours from Sara.

So we started texting.

And we convinced our parents to let us see each other one more time before I got back on the plane to Utah.

We went to a steakhouse called Logans. Called Jess and took tons of pictures. I finally found her surprise and gave me a stuff squirrel... yes, a Heidy. We were there for about two hours until we had to say goodbye again. We hugged and stuck our earbuds up our noses together.. the thing that started it all.

Leaving was easier the second time. I didn't cry. So proud of myself.

I love my baby girl <3 more than anything in the world....

 




 

Little Miss Erika

Yeah, I guess you could say I got bored...

Pick 10 artists that you love before reading the questions:

1. Sugarland
2. Justin Moore
3. Chris Young
4. Jason Aldean
5. Thompson Square
6. Martina McBride
7. Little Big Town
8. Sara Evans
9. Lady Antebellum
10. Reba

What was the first song you ever heard by 1?
Little Miss <3 "It'll be alright again.. Little Miss you'll go far.." But that usually changes day to day, it's impossible to choose an all time favorite song from them.
What is your favorite song of 8?
Born to Fly
What kind of impact has 1 left on your life?
How am I supposed to answer a question like that? They have left an impact on me that will last forever. Because of them, I have real friends who treat me just like family, who are always there for me. Because of their music, they have stopped me from giving up when that's all I want to do. They comfort me, they make me laugh, I wouldn't be who I am without them. I wouldn't have met some of the most amazing people in my life. True, I wouldn't have had a lot of heartache without them, but the good times and memories are what keeps me going when the pain is too much to handle.
What are your favorite lyrics of 5?
"We are fragile, but we are human, and we are shaped by the light we let through us. We break fast, 'cause we are glass."
How many times have you seen 4 live?
Haven't yet. Plan to.
What is your favourite song by 7?
Bring it on Home
Is there any song by 3 that makes you sad?
The Man I Want to Be - For me, he brings out every point of the woman I want to be
What is your favorite song by 9?
Own the Night <3 or Dancing Away with my Heart. Beautiful songs they are.
When did you first get into 2?
Oh man. He's a dang sexy country boy ladies and gentlemen.
How did you get into 3?
First time I started hearing his songs on GAC last January, I've been hooked ever since.
What is your favourite song by 4?
Tattoos on This Town
How many times have you seen 9 live?
I will see them for the first time in February.
What is a good memory concerning 10?
Oh heavens, last April with Vivian. One of the most amazing concerts I've ever been to.
Is there a song by 8 that makes you sad?
My Heart Can't Tell You No...
What is your favorite song of 6?
I'm Gonna Love you Through It <3

Look who's back!

I'm sorry it's been so long since I last blogged... life is crazy! Especially with the new term starting, and all the other projects going on, I have had almost no extra time to sit down and crank this out. I'm excited to though now.


I hope you like the new look of my blog and the new title. I've never really experienced with a ton of format stuff, so I think it looks a ton better. A lot more of my personality comes through this with layout than with the last couple.


Life has been crazy! Since I last blogged, I have started teaching guitar lessons. I only have one official student right now, but I have a few more signing up after Christmas and another few that have come for a lesson or two and still are debating to sign up. If anyone is interested... I charge $7 for a half hour lesson ($28 a month). I've loved teaching. It's so fun to teach others a love for my passion.


I've also started work on my next CD. It will be a cover CD this time, featuring only my songs that I've written and should be finished around Christmas. I'm also recording a special CD for Sara, as we have so many songs that we relate to together, I figured I put them all in a CD so she can have them to play whenever she wants.


Both the Atlanta and the Indiana Sugarland concert were in the last two weeks or so. I was able to get a few concert calls from ATL and 14 from Indiana... my Sugarfamily sure knows how to heal me. Since then I've been coping with losing my girls a lot better. I got to speak with a friend I haven't gotten to speak with since the stage collapse almost three months ago today. She's been in the hospital since the fall and was allowed to go home today. It was amazing to hear her again. I still remember that night like it was last, and will never forget it. But that's what healing is. It's accepting your loss while hanging onto the memories. I don't know that it's a memory I want to remember, but I'll never forget it.

During the Indiana concert, instead of painting "love" on the flag that they parade around the arena during "Stand Up", she spray painted "heal". And yes, we are healing.


We had UEA Break a few weeks back. My family and I went to Disneyland. We spent a day in Disneyland and a day in DCA. It was a ton of fun and I was glad I could go with my mom and my brother since I usually just go with my dad.


We finally got all of our Alabama plans finalized. We are going to Birmingham on the 27th of December, spending a day and a half there, then driving to Nashville and flying back home New Years Eve. I'm all to excited. It's so weird saying to Sara "I'm going to meet you next month!" It's about the best feeling in the world, really. I am so excited.

Halloween was so fun. I went to my friends house and made cotton candy and ate donuts. It was a ton of fun. They really go all out for Halloween. I went trick or treating a little bit with Caroline. I was dressed as Jennifer Nettles... of course. It was way fun and everyone loved my costume. The hat is what really took it over the top. I made it myself, complete with heart with wings beads, feathers, and a zipper that goes around the entire length of the hat. I LOVE it. I stole it from Caroline and thought it was so cool how I dressed it up. I was pretty happy with it myself.


I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO SNOW. I am SO excited for winter. I don't know why, because usually I HATE the snow. But this year, I can't wait for it to start falling. Hoping that storm they're talking about tomorrow is going to dump on us.


Well, enjoy your weekend, much love!

Little Miss Erika

SARA JEAN.

I GET TO MEET HER.

IN DECEMBER.

FOR MY DAY OF BIRTHY.


I CAN'T.

I'M GOING TO DIE.

I LOVE THAT GIRL.

D&C 4:3

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude right now, I'm not sure how to put it into words. But we'll try.

A few months ago, when I went to RFG, for our last devotional our counselor let us ask questions and she would answer them. She had us write them down the night before so she could think about them and then answer them the next night. At this point in my life, my testimony was shaking and my faith was as low as I hope it will ever be. I was miserable, and didn't know who or what to believe any more. With little doubt in my mind that asking a question could ever help me, I wrote down "When did you learn, for yourself, that what we're all being taught was absolutely true." She said that she had thought about this question a lot and wasn't sure how to answer it in the way that would affect us the most. She said that if we didn't have a testimony, she wanted her story to inspire us to gain one. She hesitated a little, then shared a story about when she was around 14, just going into seminary for her first year. In seminary they had a president to lead the class and conduct some of the meetings. She said that the thought never crossed her mind to even want to be in the presidency. Her seminary teacher challenged them at the beginning of the year to start reading D&C. She said that she started at the beginning, and read up to chapter four that night. She came across the scripture D&C 4:3 that says "Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;". She said it really stuck out at her for some reason. She wanted to have a testimony to serve God, to know that He was there and needed her for some reason in the church. She said she got down on her knees and prayed for an opportunity, big or small, to be able to serve someone through God.
The next day, her seminary teacher asked her to come early to class. He pulled her inside his office and said that he had the president chosen, but for some reason, her face would not leave his mind the night before. He said he didn't know why, but thought he needed to put her in as the president. She told us that she lost it at that point, saying that she was so amazed that God had answered her prayer in such a perfect way.
She spoke to us a little more after that, telling us to gain a testimony, to be strengthened, to pray about it and to know that if we have a desire to believe it, we'll know it's true.
The next Sunday I was in church, the Beehive presidency got released because the president and second counselor were moving on to Mia Maids. They didn't sustain a new presidency because they weren't sure who to call yet.
I went home, thought about my counselor, and thought, I'm going to put my trust in the Lord and see what he comes up with for me. I prayed to be able to be put in the presidency, to serve these girls, because I knew I could influence them, have an impact on them, grow to love them. I begged Him, even if it was just for the few short month that I had left in Beehives, that I would be able to serve my class in some way.
Weeks passed before we got a new president and I was losing a little bit of my confidence. I thought that if He was going to let me serve, He would have called me already.
This week, the bishopric came in and asked if I would accept the calling as the president of the Beehives class.
I totally lost it.
He cared about me enough to let me serve Him and the beautiful young beehives in my class.
Yeah, it's nothing huge. It's small and it will only be for two months. But it meant so much to me that He would answer my prayers.

He answers prayers.

Little Miss Erika

I Got You

So. Every night that I have a performance. I do this song. For one reason. It's a song that I've been singin' with this girl pretty much since I met her. And almost every night I call her during it (: Yeah. I do it for Sara. Because she's got my back and I've got hers. But tonight when I was doing it, pretty much my favorite thing in the world happened. I was in the middle of singing the second verse when a little girl right up close to the pulls out a poster and holds it up. It says "Erika - You're the missing piece that makes me fit! I love you!"

I have no idea who that girl was. But I love her.

So I recorded I Got You in soundcheck today... it's not my best, but I thought you may want to hear it. Enjoy. If you'd like (:

"May we find in each other, we're not so alone.."

Miracles happen my friends. I don't know how. I don't know why. But I know they do.

Almost two months ago I received some of the hardest calls of my life within a matter of days. Two dead, 7 in the ER, 12 total in the hospital. The day the Indy stage fell was far beyond the hardest day of my life.

My friend has been in the hospital since that day, in a coma, day in, day out, and we had little hope for her waking up. Two days ago I got a call that she was beginning to come out of it, little by little, and was responsive by the next morning. Later that day, I received the most rewarding, most emotional, and absolutely the most amazing phone call of my life. I was able to talk to my friend for the first time in two  months. My friend that the doctors said I'd probably never speak to again.

I am forever amazed, grateful, and so fully blessed that she is alive.

Love & light <3

Little Miss Erika

JUSTIN MOORE. JUSTIN. MOORE. JUSTIN FREAKIN MOORE.

Oh my heck. So I'm guessing a lot of you have heard about my bus driver friend by now... or at least one of them. I know a few people who do the truck driving for a few different stars. Anyway, last night was my friend's last night on tour with my favorite artist (next to Sugarland, oh, and Frankie), Justin Moore. He promised he'd concert call me this night. Well. When he called me, it was like 6:30, so I was like, this is way too early for a concert call. So I answered, and I hear this voice on the other end that goes "Hey! This is Justin Moore, is this Erika?"

OH MY FREAK I STOPPED BREATHING.

IT WAS HIM.

Well. The conversation went like this.

"Yeah. That's me."
"Aw well hi baby! I hear your a big fan"
"Are you kidding? I love you so much it's not even funny."
"That's sweet. Where do you live girl?"
"I'm out in Utah. I came to your Salt Lake show last month but I was with my mom so she only let me get lawn tickets instead of the front row I was intending to buy."
"Well, next time I'm out there, we'll make sure we get you some better tickets"
"Aw! You would really do that for me? That'd be so amazing!"
"I'd do anything for my biggest fan. Hey, I hear you do a pretty killer version of Bait a Hook on your guitar. Is that true?"
"Uhm. Well. I can play it. I don't know how killer it is but it's one of my favorite songs to play."
"I want to hear it!"
"I'll play it for you! Do you want me to sing with the guitar as well?"
"Of course!"
"Okay"
So I play my song..
"Girl! You have a beautiful voice!"
"Are you just saying that to make me feel good?"
"No hun! That was fabulous."
"Aw! Thanks!"
No okay. So then. Jason Aldean, who Justin is touring with, walked onto Justin's bus. And Justin was like "Jason. Say hi to Erika!" And Jason's all like "Hi Erika!" And walks off. I'm like
"Was that Jason Aldean"
"Yup. You a pretty big fan of him too?"
"Ain't as big as I am for you"
"That's good. Well sweetie, I've got to get onstage, but I'll make sure Mike (my friend) calls you during the concert and I'll try to call you after to see what you think."
"Okay. Thanks baby! You just made my entire life by calling me"
"Entire life? Wow! You are a big fan. I'm glad I made you smile hun."
"I love you!"
"Love you too. I'll talk to you later"
"Bye!"

OMG. TOTALLY NOT DYING.
I JUST HAD A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD.
I COULDN'T EVEN BREATHE LAST NIGHT.

When I got my concert call, it was during Bait a Hook. He dedicated it to me in the beginning! He's like "Hey y'all, this is for a very special fan out there named Erika. Love you baby!"
OMG.
Then he SANG TO ME.

OMG.

Okay. So then like.

HE FRIKKIN CALLED ME BACK AFTER THE CONCERT!
He goes
"Hey baby! Did you hear you song"
"Yeah I did! That was sweet that you dedicated it to me. I loved every second of it."
"Good! Did you only get to hear the one song or a few?"
"I only heard Bait a Hook"
"That stinks!"
"Hey, I'll take what I can get."
"Do you want me to do a little acoustic performance for you since you missed out? I've got my guitar."
"Really? You'd do that for me?"
"Why of course I would darlin'!"

SO THEN HE PLAYED ME MY OWN PERSONAL VERSION OF IF HEAVEN WASN'T SO FAR AWAY AND SMALL TOWN USA.

OMG.

PERFECTION.

THAT MAN IS PERFECTION.

Then he's all like
"Did you like it?"
"Of course I did! You sounded amazing, like always"
"Aw thank you child! You know, I'll be sure we make a stop by Salt Lake on next years tour and get around to seeing you"
"I'd be there in a second!"
"I'd get you there in a second little miss"
"It's a plan. You let me know when and I'll be there."
"We'll be sure to get you meet and greet passes and better seats this time. I want a big ol' hug from you. Mike says you give good ones"
"I try. Of course, you'd get an extra special one."
"That makes me feel extra special"
"Just so you know, you're totally making my super bad day so much better."
"Aw child, why'd you have a bad day?"
"Stupid girls. But dang is it better now"
"You know that when I come to Salt Lake I'll have a shovel in the back of my truck if you need me to get anyone. No one treats my girl wrong."

OMG HE FREAKING CALLED ME HIS GIRL.

"I'll keep track of who you need to hit"
"Aww hun, you got it. Well, we're hitting the road late and I need to get some rest before we rise bright and early tomorrow. It was great talking to you though and I hope to see you soon. Sweet dreams baby girl!"
"Thank you so much baby! I can't believe you just called me. This is a dream come true."
"If I'm living my dream, I want to help out my fan's dreams too"
"Well you've got this girl down"
"Good. Love you darling!"
"Love you too! Drive safe!"
"Get some good rest. Good night child."

OH MY ASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMQWERTYUIOPPO9IUYTREWQSDFGHJKMNBVCXZGFHJDKLSTYUREIOWPBVNCMGHFJCDKLRUIDEOSHCFJKB VNCMGHFJDKFUJIDYURYRUE8W9UJDILDFJHGSJVNBXMFNBSDKLFJGHAIWUERYHTAQIUWEYHAUFIHJSDJVNHZKJBNVMZXNVJWAHFRIPwquefidazjdkl;snvjzkxnvxzkcnvkjadshgfaoijwefoianfc.
I still don't believe that happened.
Like.

JUSTIN FREAKING MOORE CALLED ME ON MY FREAKING CELL PHONE

FREAKING TWICE.

FREAK.
OH MY.

I CAN'T.

I JUST.

OH.

I CAN'T EVEN.

HEAVENS.

SOMEONE.

HELP.

ME.

PLEASE.


JUSTIN MOORE I LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE YOU.

"Little miss" "Darlin'" "Child" "Hun" "Honey" "Sweetie" "Sweetheart" "Baby" "Baby girl"
Erika

What brings you to Pocatello?

I have good news. Well. Good news for me. I don't know how good it is for you. But hey. I like it. So. Deal with it.

After like, a two year break, I'm attempting writing again. Like, short story type of thing. But. I thought you might like to see what I have so far. It doesn't have a title yet. And I'm not sure where I'm taking it. But I like it. Whatever it is.

I was all but five when the first storm blew in. The skies were as dark and as black as midnight, but it was only midday. You could hear the thunder for miles, and the lightning never stopped striking across the open field that stretched endlessly across the horizon. Rain fell like tears from the Gods. We counted every drop that fell, praying with the rhythm of the rain that the skies would lift.
My sister and I sat close to the window, watching the water fall so fast to the ground, we couldn't see the large oak tree that stood tall and majestically in the front of the yard. That same tree Dad had planted when it was just an acorn, fragile and beautiful, like a child it grew. I still remember the day he planted it, and I still think about him. Mama said the tree is what he was like. Meek and lovely, but it grew protecting and defensive, determined to keep that behind it safe. That was us for my father. But Mama told me he can't protect us any more. So he left us the tree. That oak filled the skyline now, the branches reaching out their long fingers to touch the golden sun that burned on the horizon, the same sun that rose every night and every morning. It always came, the sun did, it was as constant as the stars and the moon, it would always rise and fall, day in and day out. That never changed, and we believed it never would.
We sat there for hours when mom called us in for bed. And if we had moved then, and listened to her, I'd say little Holly would be coming home from school right about now, telling stories of the playground, filling the room with her comforting giggle and warm smile. But it's been well on fiver years now, and Holly still hasn't come home. Every day I watch for her. But she never comes. Mama promised she would. She tells me she's just resting, in another home, where she's safe, and that one day she'll walk though that front door and we'll play together again. But I don't know if I should believe her.

It's a rough draft for now, so I don't know what I"m going to do with it. I have a little more but that's about all for now. Let me know what you think. I'll be changing it over the next few days and let you know what I've got in a little bit. Thank yah!

Love you.

Little Miss Erika

Have you missed me?

 I feel like I haven't done a full on update in a while, and I know you've missed it. There's a lot you've missed out on. Gosh it's been a crazy few weeks here.

School started. Though I'm pretty sure you've figured that one out by now. I love my schedule this year. I TA two periods, Thornock and Library. I have multimedia and foods as my other two electives. I got into American Studies, the 2 period combined English and History class for enriched students, and I am absolutely loving every second of it. My only rough class is foods. I don't know. I just don't like it. I don't feel natural in there.
It took some getting used to the first couple weeks but I really like school now. Yeah, I'm still getting bullied and such, but you learn to ignore the haters and focus on the ones who really love you. Once in a while I still cry. I still get discouraged. And I still feel like I'm not enough sometimes. You gotta do what you gotta do. But then you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and tell yourself you are beautiful because I know inside that I am. And I know there are people out there that think I am too. That's what keeps me going.
I'm doing math online this year. It's easier and fits with my schedule better. I love not having math at Centennial. I hope it stays this perfect.

Over Memorial Day weekend my dad and I took a trip to Denver. It was really fun. We stayed right in downtown, spent a day in Colorado Springs, and had a great time together. I'm really glad we decided to go there over the break. It was a crazy awesome trip.

I went to the Rascal Flatts concert last Friday. Amazing! Justin Moore opened. Oh heavens. My love. Dang. He's. Whoooooooo. Sara. He's whoooooo. I love that man. Sara Evans came after, who absolutely put on the best show of the night. She is an amazing performer. She treats the audience like a big group of friends. I love it. Rascal Flatts followed. Sara Jean got like, 6? I think? concert calls from me. Dang those men know how to write songs for that girl. It was fabulous. The concert was amazing.

I finally found photos of the Little Miss Project here in Salt Lake City. Take a look <3

My word do those photos bring tears to my eyes. Wow. And these aren't even half the signs. There were signs all the way up to the lawn. It was amazing. Signs crowding the lawn. Wow. Wow. Wow. I wish I had pictures of it, video of it, but I was crying too hard to care. <3 YOU ARE LOVED

I passed out again today. In foods. I was sitting in my chair one minute and the next I was on the floor. I still feel super sick but I'm doing a tad better. I hope I don't feel this horrible tomorrow.

Tuesday marked the day one month since the stage fell in Indy. My word. Scary day. Scary, terrifying, and most definitely the hardest day of my life. I miss my baby girl so much that died that night <3 I don't know how I'm going on without her, but you live and you learn, and you find one way or another to move on. Though I know I wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for the Sugarfamily. <3

Holly got her necklace yesterday <3 many of you have seen my gold heart with wings necklace. Well, I sent Holly one like it with a real long letter and she finally got it. I was so happy. I'm so glad she loves it.

Sara's birthday is tomorrow and her package is still sitting on my bed. Oh heavens. I was going to mail it today but I got so sick I couldn't even sit upright until a few minutes ago. Hopefully I'll get it off tomorrow. I hope she doesn't hate me for this.

Sara. Heidy. (:

Caroline's birthday was on Tuesday. Happy birthday girl! She is the best friend in the world. The funniest person. The one that I have too many memories with to name. I love her. I can't believe she's 14. Scary!

(:

Thanks for the love to you all. I've gotten a lot of support since losing my girl last month. And I don't think people get enough credit just for simply being the sweetest people ever. You know who you are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. <3 <3 <3

Little Miss Erika

Happy Birthday Jennifer Nettles

Happy birthday to the lovely Ms. Jennifer Nettles!! Dang I love that girl so much. I can't wait until Detroit next yer. I plan on meeting her again. This time I'm determined to tell her everything. Absolutely everything that she's saved me from and helped me through. And this time I'll tell her that I love her :P
I love her.
She's the only person in the world that can actually convince me that it's okay to be myself and that being me is perfect.
I love her.

Little Miss Erika

Not geeking out.

Maybe this like isn't even a big thing. Like, it's nothing and I'm freaaaaaking out for pointless reasons. That's okay with me. Either way it's happening. So, I wrote this song with my friend. Well. My two friends. Devin & Holly. Well Devin is going to have her uncle RECORD the song we wrote an then put it on ITUNES. With MY name as a CO-WRITER. Me. Erika Hultetstrom me. Like. This girl. Ohhhhhh my heavens.
The song that we wrote is about the Indy tragedy. Which makes this mean that much more to me because I lost my best friend that night. I am so honored to have even worked on this song with these two amazing girls and now it's being put on iTunes?! My heavens. Too much to take in.
I'll let you know when the song comes out. It's going to be amazing. I can't wait to hear it. Hope that you enjoy it too, if you love me and want to go buy it (:

Love yah!
Little Miss Erika

WHEEEEEEEE!

Sara. Only you. Only you would understand why I titled this post what I did.... only you would understand the easy button, why my butt hurts and my chair is broken. Only you would understand Heidy. Only you would understand my face slamming into my iPod. Only you would know about my bloody heart because of your chips. Only you... Shaina Twain has denim on her boob. Only you would stick your earbuds up your nose. Only you would understand why I poked myself up the nose with one of those devil things. Only you would be stupid enough to cover up your mic and try to talk to me at the same time. I'd only have to worry about you falling out of your bed because you'd be too lazy to get back in. Only you would talk about how "frikkin' awesome" Frankie's butt is. Only you would put duct tape over your eyebrows.. and then pull your eyebrows off. Only you would stroke your own face (do you remember that one? OMG. I saw it when I was going through your old posts today. Started laughing my head off).Only you "scare the crap out of yourself all the time". Only you would laugh at my gigantic computer screen. Only you would quote Sugarland like there's no tomorrow. Ah heavens, girl, only you understand me (:

I love you. I love you like no one else. You are my special Sara. Speeeeciaaaaal... (;

Seriously. Like. I can't even tell you what you mean to me.

I just thought I'd tell you how dang much I love you. Like. It's a lot of loving. But not creeper loving.

I love you.

More than anything in the world.

I mean that.

You are the best friend anyone could ask for.

Deal with it.

(:

Little Miss Erika

It'll Be Alright Again

Talk about one of the most amazing nights ever. It was tonight. The night I have been looking forward to all summer, finally arrived.

We got to Usana at about 2, got in line for the Sugarpit and Alisha and Kathie showed up a few minutes later. About 20 minutes after they got here it started pouring down rain, so we went and hid under the K-BUL 93.3 tent.. thanks guys! Then we hung out for a while, walked all the way down the parking lot to see Jenn from a distance during sound check. We had to climb up this hill with all these overgrown sticks and weeds, I got my foot cut and it hurt really bad. After that Alisha went back to save our spots while we went down to Maverick to get a band-aid because it wouldn't stop bleeding. We came back, sat in line for a little longer, then started with the LMP. Demi and I passed out a ton of signs, along with Alisha. We got the radio stations to help out and everything, so it went really well. We even got free T-shirts from 104.3 for doing it :) For a wile we just passed out signs, then when it got closer to the time when we were supposed to go into the venue, we still had a ton of signs, so we gave them to Alisha to take to the Vegas show next weekend. We went into the venue, Whitney led us down, I showed her the Indy shirts, she loved them. We got to our spots, right by Kristian because all of the Jenn spots were taken. We waited about 40 minutes for Sara Bareilles to come on stage. She came on, did her set, did a duet with KRISTIAN! Never seen that before. Sara finished up, she did amazing. Then we waited about half an hour for Sugarland. The lights went dark and I almost started crying. I couldn't believe it. I was seeing Sugarland, live, for the second time in my life when I never thought it could happen the first. The stage was soooo high that we couldn't see them when they did all we are because they did in the background, kind of. Definitely different without a curtain drop or anything but still just as amazing. They came closer as the song went on but I still couldn't see them great. I was still kind of crying so Jenn looked at me and smiled really big, which only made me cry harder. They came to the front of the stage for Stuck Like Glue and I could finally see them clear. In the middle of the last chorus, I pointed at Kristian and was like "You and me baby, we're stuck like glue!!!" He looked at me and just smiled for a while, then waved and went to the other side of the stage. Okay. I started crying :) Happy crying. Couldn't believe it! They did a few songs and then it was Every Girl Like Me time! During the second chorus I was rockin' it out. Jenn walked over to me and started doing the exact same dance moves I was doing, for like, the entire chorus! I was smiling so big I looked scary. She just smiled back and laugh a little :) THENNNNNN... Little Miss. My sign was verryyyyy personal this time. It said "I lost my best friend when the Indy stage fell." I debated a long time on whether to put this on there or not. Because I didn't want them to hurt because I was hurting. But now, I'm really glad I did because I think it meant something to them to see that I, and most of the people out there, we're hurting with them. I held up my sign at the very beginning, and as soon I put it up, Kristian saw it, read it, and started crying. I started BAWLING. Like, I was sobbing so violently, they thought I was having like a seizure or something. Kristian just kept looking at me with his big eyes, like telling me that it was going to be alright again. I remember during the first chorus, turning around, and seeing about 600 of my signs, that I hand made, fill the venue. That make me cry even harder. I couldn't breathe I was crying so hard. A really sweet young man was standing by me in the pit, and I had gotten to know him a little before the show, and he just put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Congratulations, your Sugarfamily is so proud of you." Which made me cry harder. Thank you for doing that, if you're out there reading this. That meant a lot to me. Then, I turned back during the second chorus, and I saw Jenn read my sign, and she got all wet eyed too! And then she looked me straight in the eye, and sang It WILL be alright again. Not IT'LL, like how the lyrics are. IT WILL. Yeah. I felt amazing right then. Then, the entire bridge and last chorus Kristian didn't take his eyes off of me. "Breathe in... breathe out.." all straight to my face. Then, when it was done, he came up to the front and nodded at me, I nodded back and he mouthed "You're okay" and I could only nod back because I felt soooo loved at that moment I didn't know what to do. Way too shortly after that, the concert ended and we had to say goodbye. I met some amazing people tonight I will definitely miss. It's what happens.. you meet them and they are automatically Sugarfamily. I feel so lucky, amazed, and fortunate for tonight. Their music has healed me. My Sugarfamily has healed me. I feel amazing and so incredibly loved. <3 I won't ever forget tonight, the way that Kristian looked at me while singing "Breathe in... breathe out...". He made me feel like I was the only person he cared about at that moment, the only person in the audience. It was like he was saying, "I'm here, you'll be okay, cry, baby, cry if you need to and I am always here for you." And that meant the world to me.

Tonight was amazing.

I'm okay <3

Little Miss Erika

My heart hurts.

The five deaths from the Sugarland concert in Indiana have been joined by a 6th. Jenny Haskell. I knew her. Not well, but we talked. You don't have to know someone well to love them, and I loved her. My hands are shaking as I write this post because I'm not sure how to handle this. 


Sugarland did a beautiful tribute last night in Albuquerque in honor of those lost and injured. They sang their song "Love". Watch the video here. I think there wasn't a dry eye for anyone who was watching last night. Definitely not for me. I had tears flowing like there was no tomorrow. I hate that you can see in J & K's eyes how emotionally exhausting this has been for them. They are people. They cry, they hurt, and so we hurt with them. 


I'm really looking forward to the Salt Lake Sugarland concert tomorrow. Even though it won't be like their usual concert, I know that there is still healing through music and that tomorrow will not only heal a part of them, but a part of me, and a part of the Sugarfamily, just like last night. I know I'm going to be crying my eyes out for most of the show, but that's okay with me. Crying heals. Music heals. Tomorrow will heal.


The LMP Live is going to kill me. I've made almost 1000 signs for this thing. 1000. 1000 of my signs are going to fill the venue. <3 <3 I get emotional just thinking about it. I don't know what my sign is going to say yet. Last time I didn't put anything on it until the song before Little Miss. It's hard to fit your whole life story in trials onto a piece of paper, big enough that they can read from the stage.


My heart goes out to all that have been effected by this tragedy, and those that are still fighting for their lives through their injuries. God be with you. We love you. 


Little Miss Erika

The LOVE Flag.

I'd like to share a poem written by my friend, Brianna Kuhn. It's called One Little Heart, in honor of the tragedy in Indiana.

One little heart, two little wings
A symbol of love, that strongly sings
Of raising your voice, when the darkness falls
Of lighting the fire, to be felt by all.

Five angels fly, above overhead
Tears fall from the eyes, of the ones that were left
They pray for the strength, to get through every day
But even when it's sunny, the sky feels gray.

The grieving is hard, the healing is rough
But you'll make it through, surrounded by love
Shed all your tears, like rain to the ground
Because come one day, it will all turn around.

The haze it will lift, the sky it will clear
The anger subsides, and so do the tears
It's not always easy, but you'll make it through,
Because we see the strength, you don't see in you.

One little heart, two little wings
A symbol of love, it strongly sings
Of raising your voice, when the darkness falls
Of lighting the fire to be felt by all.

Powerful, isn't it? That's what I mean when I say our LOVE flags our raised higher than ever. That's why I changed my background to that flag.

Little Miss Erika

Sugarland, Megan, Caroline, and my near death experience.

I almost drowned last night. No joke. Bahaha Megan's gonna be reading this and is going to be like NO YOU DIDN'T! But it's true. I did. Long story though. But it's alright, I'm alive :)

Yesterday my grandma came down in the morning, we ran errands and stuff, then I went to the mall with Megan. We shopped around, looked at stuff, got some... well, perfume ;) ate pretzels, did the little photo booth things twice, and just messed around like the retards we are. After that we went to mutual together, swimming at the Roney's (where I almost drowned.), met Caroline there, swam, played on the little playground, and then went home. We dropped Megan off, she didn't have her shoe. So we went back to the Roney's to look for it. No luck. So then we just went over to Caroline's house because I had promised her that I'd help paint her bedroom that night... did that, went home around 11. Way fun!

Love my friends :)

Now onto a little bit more serious stuff. Sugarland is hitting the stage for the first time since the tragedy in Indiana. How much I respect them for going on with their tour as planned. To my friends in Albuquerque, blow them away with your love. They need it now. It's your turn tonight, to lift them up with your strength. Saturday will be our turn and I promise you we will do it. We will show them with all that we have, what it means to be part of the Sugarfamily.

I lost my best friend that night. I know how they're feeling. Exceeding amounts of love to them. <3 <3

Little Miss Erika

In loving memory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpvJF-VHEmM&feature=youtube_gdata

Thank you Holly <3

From Indiana to Usana.

This weekend has been absolutely one of the scariest, saddest, most trying time in my life. Since the stage fell on Saturday, the latest update is that 5 people have died and 45 are in the hospital. I was on the computer until 3 am on Saturday, when I finally heard that the last of my missing friends had gone home, unharmed. Right now, I know 7 people in the hospital and 1 that died the night of the tragedy. I know many who were right against the stage as it fell, but were able to make it out before it hit the ground. I can't imagine. That would scare me to death. To think that others standing by me had died that night. A split second could have saved their lives.
Thank you to the heroes who rushed to the stage that night, instead of running away. Thank you to those who risked their lives to save others. Thank you to my Sugarfamily. We weep together. We pray together. We are stronger together. We heal together. I don't know what I would've done without my Sugars this weekend. Thank you, especially, to Jen, who kept us updated the entire night, who barely slept because she stayed up to make sure everyone was okay.
To J&K, we are family. We are here for you. We feel the pain of this with you. Our L☮VE flags are raised higher than ever before. Our hearts are breaking with you. Our strength is behind you. We love you unconditionally.
The show for this Saturday at USANA is still going on as planned. We, as the Sugarfamily here in Utah, are hoping to blow them away with our love, to heal a part of them with the LMP, and to comfort them through our special surprise during "Stand Up". This will be one special show, and I'm sure that tears, especially mine, will be flowing. 

Much love to the Sugars who also lost someone on Saturday, who knows those injured, who have felt pain, who have been scared, who never stopped praying through all of this. I hope you feel of our love, the entire Sugarfamily, from across the world, we hope than you know we are here. We think about you. We pray about you. We love you. May God heal you at this time ʚ♥ɞ 


Much love, hugs, prayers to those involved. 


Little Miss Erika

Sara

Totally not thinking the same thing.

Thompson Square, Salt Lake, Sara, Talent Search and Indiana.

I feel like it's been a really long time since I posted. So here I am.

Wednesday night was fabulous. Tiffany came over, hung out, and then we went to the Thompson Square concert together. AMAZING. I'm kinda obsessed with them ever since that night. Concert called Sara during "I Got You"! The missing piece that makes me fit :) Bahaha I love that girl.

Thursday I had a doctors appointment in Sandy in the morning, then we went to lunch up there, came back to see the Tour of Utah bikers go down University. Then my father and I packed up and went to go check into our hotel in Downtown SLC. We were spending the night up there for our last getaway before school starts. We rode the new TRAX line to West Valley that night, had dinner, then up to the room.

Friday we got up, rode the new TRAX line to South Jordan, explored out there a bit, went back to the hotel, got ready for my competition out at the Salt Lake County fair, then drove back down to South Jordan to perform! We got there at 5, wandered around until 5:30, checked in with the sound guy, took our seats and waited for the competition to start. I was 4th to perform. I sang Baby Girl by Sugarland. It wasn't my worst performance, I don't know that it was my best. I thought I did pretty good, but I didn't win anything. After we went to dinner and then back to the hotel. I skyped with Sara that night :) Bahhhhh I love that girl like none other. She seriously made me laugh so hard I was crying.

We skyped until like, midnight, so I woke up around 11 this morning. Bahhh I never sleep in that late and usually I stay up way later than that so I have no idea what got into me. We went to Blue Lemon, my almost most favorite restaurant in the world for brunch. I had a muffin :) Then we took (just guess) the TRAX line (good job!) down to Sandy and back up again. Checked out of our hotel, ate lunch, went and bought somethings for my new remodeled bathroom (pictures coming) and went home.

This is where today got real bad.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/139370746130223/?ref=ts#!/video/video.php?v=110070465759055&oid=54444461143&comments

I don't even know what to say. This video was posted after the stage fell at the Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis right before Sugarland was about to come onstage. I had about 10 friends there in the audience, right where the stage fell. I was terrified. Absolutely scared out of my mind. It was about an hour until I heard from everyone that they were safe and sound. Only one of my friends was injured, her and her son. I knew one of the people that died as well. I'm so numb right now I can't even take it in. 4 died and 43 were taken to the hospital.

Now. I know I say I love my Sugarcubes. But words cannot describe the love and respect I have for them. I have never been more honored to be part of the Sugarfamily. Twitter and Facebook are still blowing up with prayers and love for these people that we don't even know. We're all one big family here in Sugarland, no lies, and everyone says it, knows it. Doesn't matter who you are. Where you're from. There's no "fitting in" around here. We're all united by one love, and I'm so thankful I'm a part of this.

I love "our little steampunked world" <3

Little Miss Erika

And these little piggies sang Stuck Like Glue, all the way home.

I am SOOO dang happy right now :) CAROLINE'S HOME!!!!!! Oh my word. She's been gone since the last week of MAY. And she's HOME. We went and picked her up at the airport tonight, since she flew into the Provo airport. I tackled her. She tackled back. Then my dad drove us home and we sang Stuck Like Glue, with the actions, the entire way home. Yeah. Because we're cool like that.

We're all revved up for our Sugarland concert now. So excited to see Alisha and Kathie there! :)

LMP Live is going to be killer. 1000 signs. Oh yes.

I can't wait.

Little Miss Erika

I won't lie, I bookmarked it.

First, let me apologize.... I had to.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpli166BTJ1qd38cu.gif

This totally just made my entire like, life, so, I hope you enjoyed it :)

Little Miss Erika

Tim McGraw and the most amazing girl.

I hate it that you look forward to something for so long, and then it's over before you know it. I hate it how all good things have to come to an end. I hate it how there always has to be a goodbye. But I love it that you get to enjoy every second of it before it's over.

Last night was so amazing. SO amazing. It makes me smile like an idiot just thinking about it. I needed it so much, I needed to lose myself and all of my worries and troubles for a night. I needed the music. I needed my girl. And every part of it lived up to everything I had dreamed about <3

We met Vivian at USANA around 6:30, get our tickets, get our food, and then find our seats. The Band Perry was first. They sand a couple songs, including Hip to my Heart, You Lie, and If I Die Young. Then LUKE BYRAN came on. Oh how I love him. He knows how to get down like a southerner. I mean, he knows how to strut his stuff, if you know what I'm saying. Like Viv said, "That will forever be a visual." After Luke was Tim McGraw. He came out into the audience and played, but we were on the other side of the venue from where he was. One of the disadvantages of being short. Can't see anything when everyone is standing up. But I could hear, which worked for me. He did tons of songs, I think around like 18. Each one was amazing. He did a duet with Luke and The Band Perry. AH-MAZ-ING.

I can't lie, my favorite part of the night wasn't the music, or the stars there. It was that girl I had my arm around the entire night. It was that girl who makes me laugh until I cry. That girl who I can completely lose myself in to actually find myself. That girl who believes in me. That girl who supports me. That girl who is always there for me. That girl with the most amazing voice, who I made sing to me the entire night. :) That girl who would do anything for me. That girl who when she says she loves me, she means it. That girl who wants the best for me. That girl who makes me better than I used to be. Vivian. She's that girl. And I can't tell you how dang much I love that girl. I mean, I LOVE that girl. And there's no better feeling in the world than when I'm hugging her and she's hugging me. She's special. Different. And so incredibly amazing.

If you remember, in my Stadium of Fire post, I told you about a bracelet I gave Vivian. It had the lyrics to I Hope you Dance on it. Remember this? Well... I just about started crying last night when I saw she was WEARING it. Oh my gosh. I couldn't believe it. I kept looking at it like... oh my word... it's actually, like, on her wrist, and she's like, wearing it. And not only was she wearing it last night, but this morning when I saw her, she was still WEARING it. STILL. Uhhhmm, I died. As soon as she left I went in the bathroom and cried. I was like, no way. She's wearing it!! My word <3 I still can't believe it. No way did that even happen.

The hardest part is always watching her leave. Because she's the kind of person that you never know when you're going to see her again. I love her so much it hurts. Like, bad. ;)

Thank heaven for summer nights, outdoor concerts, country music, and Vivian <3

Little Miss Erika

18 views and not a single video.

Since I posted my last blog entry, I have had 18 views on my page and not a single video or picture in my email. I mean, I know that you don't know this girl, or maybe don't want to, I don't know, I just know that if this was my daughter, or sister, or something like that, I would be so grateful to hear of support from all over the country. From all over the world. For my little girl who is barely hanging on. Please, guys, I'm not asking you to do a lot. A picture with a short message is fine. A video doesn't have to be long. I'm on my knees begging you. This is my best friend and I'm not letting her leave until she has no doubt in her mind how much she is LOVED. And this is how I want to do it. I'm just praying she'll see it before she goes. So please, please, please, for this little girl, for me, for all of the children dying of cancer, please, please, please, please do it. Please.

Much love to you, thank you so much.

Little Miss Erika

Zowie

Do you remember Zowie? I introduced you to her in a previous blog post. Well, you see, she's lost all of her strength, and they're practically waiting for her to die. So, to give her a little umph to not give up yet, my friend and I are creating a Support Video for her. We would love if you could help out. Please. I get up to 20 views on this blog a day. If each of those 20 people helped, or even half, look how many videos we'd have. If you just click the link, you could help us change a life. Please, for a little girl with not much time left to live? Just look at her. Please help. Let me know if there are any questions. Thank you so much.

Little Miss Erika

Why I love my Sugarcubes.

Jen, myself, and Holly at the Sugarland concert.

I swear, I get asked every single day why I'm Facebook friends with so many people I've never met before. Truth is, they're like your long lost cousin you never knew. My Sugarcubes are like my family. Today I got word that not only one of my friends, but two of my friends are really close to having cancer claim their lives. We're almost, as weird as it sounds, waiting for them to die. I posted a status message about it on Facebook, and within 2 hours, I had 12 comments on it. Every one from a Sugarcube. These people, they're caring people. This morning I woke up to 4 wall posts. Jess & Lee gave me their numbers in case I needed someone to talk to, Jess said I could call anytime. Like, 3am anytime. And people ask me why I love these people? These people are my life. It's like having a little army behind you of people that love you just the way you are. My Sugarcubes are like my family. They are there through anything, for anything. I'd give my life up for some of these girls. Jen, Jess, Sara, Holly, Erica. I mean, I've never found better people than I have at a Sugarland concert. I love these girls. They are my support. My strength. I'm closer to some of them than I ever have been with anyone else.

I love you guys. Thank you so much. For everything.

Jess, Lee, Jen, Holly, and myself.

Little Miss Erika

Dixie and my Beehive Class

:) Today was a really good day. Actually, the last few days have been really good days. As for my little friend I told you about that we weren't sure if she would make it through the week, she has. Miracles happen. She's still not doing well but she's alive. I hope that if she gets to be in too much pain God will take her because I hate seeing her suffering. I don't know, whatever happens, I'll let it be, but for right now I'm just happy I've gotten a few more days with her.
Thursday I got to go up with Megan White to SNOWBIRD!!! It was soooo fun. We swam, went to the gift shop, bought lots of sugar to get us hyper, hung out at her hotel room, ate dinner, ect. We were going to spend the night there but her parents wanted to come back down to Provo for that night because they had a funeral they had to be at the next morning. My parents didn't want me up there without her parents.... so we had to come back down as well. But Megan got to sleepover at my house! Which was way fun. We stayed up until late late late watching High School Musical 2, because we're dorks like that. Then we messed around until 3 in the morning when we finally went to bed. Woke up at 10:30ish the next morning, ate breakfast and just hung around until her mom came to pick her up. That night my dad took me out to dinner and then we just hung out together around town.
Today I got up, my dad took me to breakfast, we drove to American Fork to pick up something, drove by Maggie Moo's and saw my counselor from RFG working there... so we stopped and said hi :) It made me laugh when she still responded to Dixie. I would've called her Tiffany but I was too happy to see her I couldn't think of it at the moment. Ha, ha. It was funny seeing her but it was really great at the same time. We talked for a minute and then left. Then my dad and I went up to Salt Lake, had lunch, took a carriage ride around downtown, and walked through Temple Square. On our way home we stopped at USANA Amphitheater to check out the venue for the Sugarland concert!!! Made me even more excited. Can't wait to get there and start tailgating. Lots of LMP Live signs are being made, and it's now more than just me working on it. It's going to be so fun. I got the okay from Vivian that she is coming today, which made me happy. When we got home our power was out because of a tree branch that had fallen on the power lines. We were without power for about 2 hours, and it shut off right before dinner so we had no way of cooking anything. Instead we went to Cafe Rio. Then my dad and I drove around for a bit and now we're home.
I'm supposed to be working on my lesson for tomorrow right now. I'm teaching the Young Women lesson on overcoming opposition. Yeah. Me. A 45 minute lesson. With my entire beehive class. I'm a little stressed but it will be fun and hopefully I'll be able to teach my girls something. Being in the presidency kind of forces me to love these girls, but I really do love them anyway as annoying as the little ones can get sometimes ;)
I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow. As of right now it's not going well as my lesson is going to last about 5 minutes.... I'm gonna go.. work on that.

Night!

Little Miss Erika

The Little Miss Project - BOOK!

First off, I'm sitting here, right now, at my computer, listening to the rain, the thunder, watching the lightning and loving every second of it. This is what I call fabulous.

One of my friends, who was in the original LMP, is putting together a book, with a bunch of the original Little Misses and a few others. We put our stories in it, and they are going to give it to Jenn & K at the Atlanta hometown show in October. So I thought I'd show you what my page looks like. Amazing, isn't it? I mean, it's small, but you get the basic idea of what it looks like. She's soooo good at doing stuff like this, I love it so much. I can't wait to hear about Jenn's reaction when they give it to her. I feel honored to be a part of it.

Little Miss Erika

This still makes me cry.

THIS video makes me cry every time I watch it. I love that girl so much it hurts <3

Why I Believe.

Music.

It has this way of impacting us like none other. While at RFG this past week, our counselor always played a song before our devotionals. One being the one I told you about, Someone Needs Your Star. I don't know why I'm doing this, but I know that last time I heard someone say that they were doing it for me, so I'm going to do it anyway. But I felt like I should post my favorite songs from this week. There are only three. I figured, when you feel like you should do something, you might as well do it because it can't hurt either way. But I thought maybe someone, somewhere, will stumble across my blog, see this, and maybe that person is the reason I said "I don't know why I'm doing this, but I'm going to do it anyway." Maybe they'll be inspired the same way I was. So if this person is you, I hope you find your comfort here. Because I did mine. I hope you find some peace in knowing that this is why I believe and I wanted to share it with you. So here are the songs I felt I should post. I hope you'll listen. Because you could be that person.

Someone Needs Your Star
I am His Daughter (This one might be my favorite)
Happily Ever After (The picture in this one gives me chills :))

Little Miss Erika

Proud of it.

Is this not the most favorite picture of my face that you have ever seen? Tell me that you don't love this! I laughed real hard when I saw that. I told my dad not to take pictures of me when I'm hugging people. AWKWARD! Ha, ha. But I thought, maybe, you'd laugh at that and then we could laugh together at my stupid face.







This past week I've been at Retreat For Girls. RFG is a program for girls 12-15, that's like EFY but for just girls. Young girls. Is it held every year since 2005 at the USU campus in Logan, Utah. People come from all around the world, literally, to participate. Last week that had someone from Kuwait! There are 2 sessions, and this year there were 330 girls (I think) in total.

Nikkee, Jalenne, Kali and Danica

We checked in on Monday morning around 11, found where I was staying and then went to get my bags from the car. We met my counselor (Dixie) and then headed up to my room to unpack. My roommate, Ella, came about half an hour later. Then my mom and my grandma left, and Ella and I had some time to get to know each other and our other dorm mates. We then went over to the other dorm that our group was living in to have a group meeting. There were 11 girls in our group; Ella, Kali, Danica, Shayla, Jalenne, Sierra, Tori, Emily, Nikkee, Hanna, and myself. We got to know each other a little bit, played some games and made a coat of arms for our group.  We then had lawn games, our opening session and our opening banquet, then had time to get ready for bed and to call home. After we had a devotional, then time to read scriptures, ect. and then off to bed at 10:30.

Ella! Ha, ha, twinny :)

Tuesday we woke up at 7, got ready and dressed, had group scripture study at 7:30, then breakfast, and off to our first set of speakers. The first one was Chad Hymes. He talked about how life isn't about you, you have to put aside yourself to do what you were sent here to do, help others. The next guy was Micheal Hicks. He arranged the "Sisters in Zion" medly for EFY. He played us some of his compositions, which was really special, and I was kind of emotional. He played us a song he wrote about Joseph Smith and had someone else sing it. It was really pretty. Talking about the gospel, he writes, "He knows, that I know, I cannot deny it, I will live my life by it." It impacted me. He knows I know, my friends. Then we heard from John Hilton III, who was super funny and awesome. He talked about... like, dreams, and goals, and stuff like that, I think. At least that's what I have written down, ha, ha. Then we had lunch, we played more games, and then we did Dixie Idol! Now, since my counselor's name is Dixie, well, her nickname, we did our own spin on American Idol. I wasn't going to sing until they made me do it. And after I can't tell you how good it felt. Whether they were kidding, or just being nice, I don't care, they were like "You're SOOOO good!" and one girl kept telling me to invite her to all of my shows when I make it big out there. I don't know. Something felt right with them. :) We then did a craft in which we painted these wood blocks and then put a picture of the temple on them. After that we got into our best dress, which was a pain, but we had to do it for dinner/the counselor fashion show. We went to dinner, went to the fashion show, in which the counselors dressed up as their favorite fruit, their best costume, an American landmark, took a non-modest outfit and made it modest, and then finally, their happily ever after in which they dressed up in a prom dress. Then we had time to get ready for bed, call home, went to our devotional, had quiet time, and lights were out.
Wednesday was by far, the best. We got up at 7:00 again. Had our scripture study, breakfast, than went to our first speaker... HANK SMITH!!!!!! Now, if anyone knows me, they know how much I love Hank. I have all of his CD's memorized. No joke. I love him. I was like, freaking out that he was there. Coolest thing ever! He's such a good speaker. Then we heard from Anthony Sweat who was also good, funny, rising up to our potential. Then it was CARMEN RASMUSSEN. Like, the CARMEN RASMUSSEN. I love her. I love her music. I have all of her CD's, her book, everything. I love her. No joke. She was really good. She talked about her experience on American Idol and how you can never give in. No matter what. Then we had lunch, then our theme activity, which is where the head counselors taught classes. There were four classes that took about 2 hours. We then had another craft in which we made headbands. Then we had dinner, went to another theme activity in which we made little scrapbook, journal things. Then we danced. Yeah. Every year they do this dance. And they film us. It was great. Then we got ready for bed, had our devotional, quiet time and lights out.

Kali, myself, and Shayla

Thursday. Thursday started out really good, just like any other morning. Up at 7, scriptures, breakfast. Then we had John Bytheway talk to us. He was funny. He talked about being respected, and how we are valued. Then it was Kris Blecher. She's blind. Her talk really opened my eyes. She talked about trials. And joked about it. Her personality is amazing. Then we heard from some lady that I don't remember her name but she talked about being needed and missionary work. We then went to lunch. After lunch we walked to the other end of campus for our service project in which we assembled math curriculum stuff for a billion kindergartners. I won't lie. I hated it. We had to put 600+ sheets of paper into sheet protectors and then into a binder. Blah. Then we went to the Aggie Ice Cream store and got ice cream, then went to the bookstore. I got a journal and a shirt :) Then we went back to our dorms, then went to dinner. After dinner were counselor classes. These were fun. We learned how to make our self beautiful on the outside as well on the inside. It was fun. Then we had time to get ready and call home. Calling home is why I say that "Thursday started out really good." but didn't end that way. It's because as I called home I got news that my friend fighting cancer, they think she's going to die before the week is over. They didn't know if she would make it through last night and she's barely hanging on tonight. I bawled. Then we went to devotional, where I held myself together real well, I think. We had a really special devotional. Dixie answered our questions that we had given her the night before. It answered mine and strengthened my testimony. At the devotional Dixie kept saying "If there's anything you ever need, you come talk to me." I figured I should probably go talk to her. So we went out and sat in the hall and I told her what happened. I told her that it was shaking my faith because, we pray and fast for God to save her, but if He already has a plan, then what's the use? She said she understood. And she said that, like 3 times, and she said it would shake her faith too. Then she mentioned a scripture, D&C 121: 7-8. She repeated herself twice on the "And if ye shall endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." part, so I think she was trying to get a message across. She then said something I will never, ever, ever, ever forget. But I'm gonna tell you when I bare my testimony at the bottom of this blog post :) Because it's part of it. She also said another thing that I won't ever forget. She said "I think that sometimes, when we are like this, our prayers get a little bit selfish. We think that we need someone here so bad, that that's all we focus on. I think you might want to change your prayers  little bit to, instead of praying to keep her here, pray that His will be done and that you will have the strength to get through it. That's why we have the Holy Ghost, is to comfort us." What she said changed my perspective on everything. I went back into my dorm and started reading that verse again in my scriptures. I sat there for a while and cried, then I prayed to Heavenly Father that his will be done, and if He needs her, I'll get through it with a smile. Dixie then came into my room to put us to bed, she gave me another hug and I thanked her, then we went to bed.

Dixie :)

Friday morning was a really hard day to wake up. Because it was our last day there. We got dressed, had a group meeting with Dixie, then went to breakfast and our final speaker. Our final speaker was our camp director. She talked about being true daughters in His kingdom. We then had our final devotional and testimony meeting. It was intense. At the end, Dixie said "I'm going to play a song for you, and I don't know why, because it doesn't have a lot to do with what we're talking about (we were talking about being Daughters in His Kingdom), but I feel like someone in here needs this, and needs to hear it, so I'm going to play it." I can tell you, my friends, that person was me. The song was "Someone needs your Star" by Jenny Phillips. If I could tell you how unneeded I was feeling at that moment I would tell you. I honestly felt in that moment of weakness, I didn't know if my Heavenly Father cared about me. Then we had testimony meeting. I wasn't planning on getting up, but my mind stopped working so my legs worked on their own. I walked up, tears already flowing down my face as the testimony's we had been hearing from the 5 girls that went before me were so amazing.
So here is my testimony. It's changed since last time, I promise.

"I don't usually cry, but the spirit is so strong that I can't help it. You come here, for five days, and you get so attached to everyone that you can't help but cry when they cry, or smile when they smile. Last night when I called home I got the news that my friend who has cancer is practically dying. They told her that she would be lucky to live a week if she could make it through today. And I talked to Dixie about this last night, and she told me something that's changed me. She said, "Think of how much you need her." and I told her, "I need her so bad." She then said, "If you need her that much, think of how much her Heavenly Father needs her." This absolutely changed my perspective as I've known this girl for my entire life, but Heavenly Father has known her and loved her the most since the beginning. And I bet that He's aching for us to come home. He hurts when we feel pain and suffering and sometimes, he gets anxious, and needs you before some say that your time on Earth is through. I know how much I would miss her if she was gone, and then I think of my Father in Heaven, who knows us perfectly, who loves us perfectly. He would miss her so much more than I would. And I know that through Him and His plan, no matter what, it's going to be okay. I'm going to see her again no matter if He takes her now or later. I'll see her in Heaven. I know without a doubt that this church is the truth. I came her without a testimony, or a very strong testimony. I found I didn't want to go to church, I didn't want to feel the spirit. That's all changed. I found myself lost in the spirit of God. And I'm so grateful for this. I'm so grateful to strengthen my little faith into something that I can no longer contain inside of me. I love God so much. I know the love a feel for Him, and that's only a sliver of what He feels for me. I love Him. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Dixie and I

Yeah... it sounds really dorky typing it up but hey, I know it. I had to get it out and if I was gonna get it out at testimony meeting, I was going to do it. After testimony meeting I pulled Dixie off to the side again and told her that they didn't think she was going to make it through the day. She just hugged me for a minute, then said that you have to find comfort in God. You have to turn to Him. She said "When life gets too hard to stand...kneel." And she told me just to be as happy as I can possibly be. I went to my dorm, she went to hers. I packed, went to the closing banquet, came back, packed some more, wrote my talk that I was supposed to give at the closing program that night on "Quest for Virtue". Then went to the closing program with my mama and papa :) Did my talk, 2nd in the program. When I came down I was sitting next to Dixie and she said "That was perfect." PERFECT! ME! PERFECT! Ha, ha, she's gonna be reading this and be like.. creeper weirdo.. but no, it really meant a lot to me that she said that. And she said it, like, 3 times. Felt good :) Then we finished up the program with a few more speakers and a song. The song was called "Happily Ever After" also by Jenny Phillips. It was really cool. I started like, crying when the song ended because I was sooooo sad to go home. It hurt. It honestly hurt to tell these girls goodbye. I love them so much. Dixie especially. She was really there for me when I needed her and I love her. She's much more than just a counselor to me :)





I can't wait until next year.

Little Miss Erika