Summer nights

Caroline's pants and mine, covered in chalk

Caroline on a mechanical bull

Caroline came over late tonight - around 8. Sure, we're just two idiots that love each other like crazy, but she always makes me realize how blessed I am to have such amazing friends. Whenever I feel like I'm alone - there's always someone right there to say that I'm not.

Joey, Caroline, and a I at Surf and Slurp

We were like kids tonight, coloring our pants with chalk and trying to burn each other with sparklers. That's what I love about summer. You get so much down time to just spend with the people you love. Whether we're stuck in traffic after a concert or just at home roasting hot dogs in the fire pit, no matter who I'm with, we have a good time. My friends bring out the best in me. They can make me laugh when I want to cry. They bring me to the corners of my smiles. We can make memories out of something utterly stupid that will last forever. My friends get me. They know me. They're there for me. They're not like my out of state friends, where I only have certain times I can call or talk. No, I can call my friends at 3am and they'll be at my door. 

Cassidy, Joey, Darla and I at the Manti Pageant

So, if my friends are out there, reading this, thank you for lifting me up. Thank you for loving me when no one else would.Thank you for always including me. Letting me know you're there for me. Making me laugh and letting me cry. Thank you for making my sides hurt with laughter and my mouth burn from talking. Thank you for the crazy stunts we've done, the dumb injuries we've received, the times we've been mad and the times we've pulled through. Thank you for the late nights and early mornings. Thank you for being my friend.

Much love, as always,
Erika

Finally (:

I'm updating! It's been a long time since.. what? April? Was that really the last time I posted? Wow.

Well, a lot has happened since then. I am officially in high school, for one thing, and done with Centennial. I won't lie... I'm sad. I loved Middle School. I hate how everyone complains about Centennial. Like, come on, if you move schools to another country, it's gonna have the same problems. Mean kids, bad teachers, you might as well just stay away from it and enjoy the time you have. I'm gonna miss those great memories we made this year... Mock Trial, Library Aides, 4 periods with Thornock.... (;

Before the school year ended one of my best friends moved to California. We are still stuck like glue to each other. We've been sending letters back and forth all summer (: I miss you Shelly!!

Girls Camp was the week after we got out of school. It was amazing. It really was. Usually I just say that because I'm afraid of who might look at my blog and see me screwing Girls Camp... but really, honestly, it was one of the best weeks of my life. I cried, I laughed, I felt at home and protected. Sure, it was cold. Sure, it was dusty. Sure, it was miserable. But it was worth it.

Last week I went to see Toby Keith in concert. AMAZING. But depressing at the same time. I was supposed to go with Vivian, but sadly, a few days before she learned she had a training conference that extended to Thursday and she couldn't miss it. So, I went with my mom. It was really fun, we had a good time. Spent the night up in Salt Lake that night and partied the next day. It was pretty great.

Last night I got a special call. I really haven't talked much to Vivian since the concert in March. She called last night to thank me for a little note I sent her, just saying that I love her and stuff. I was playing Wii games with a bunch of my friends when she called, so I had to walk out to take it. They were all, what the heck, but I was too absorbed in my phone call to pay attention. We talked for a good few minutes. She called me her hero. I about bawled. AHK. HER HERO. That girl is soooooo much more than a friend. She's the one person that can make me feel perfect, just the way I am.

We're going to Chris Young this Saturday. EEEP. I don't even care about the concert, I just used it as an excuse to get a hug (: I can't wait.

Love you all!

Erika

Hi!

I missed you. Yeah you. I haven't blogged in a long time. Did you miss me? (;

So. I got a poem published today. And I'm really proud. So. Enjoy. It's called Being Strong.

The girl you know who loves to laugh
The smile you see, it won't last
Her heart is breaking, but she keeps on trying
Her tears flow quietly, she's barely surviving
She's breaking down, but you don't know
She keeps it inside so her pain doesn't show
She's so scared of the world's sick, wandering eyes
And how they will judge if they know that she cries
So she buries her agony beneath cries of joy
But her heart is bruised and battered like an old Christmas toy
She's smiling on the outside, but it won't last too long
Inside she's breaking, sick of being strong

Scared.

So. Well. I'm not like scared. Okay. I'm scared. But hey. It's like a stupid scared. So. There's only one thing I want to do with my life. One thing. I want to sing. I want to spend my whole life on stage. But no. Everyone else in my life is all go to law school. Go into social work. Don't waste your smarts. My parents are already talking about college and the rest of my entire life. I'm not even in high school! I know I should probably start planning a bit for my future but still, I can't walk away from everything I've wanted to do my whole life. I can't. But what I am supposed to do when my entire family doesn't support the only thing I want to do? I can't imagine spending my life any other way.
Oh, heavens, it almost gets me emotional to think of spending my life any other way. I can't. I know it sounds stupid. Stupid. But I'd do anything to get me to where I want to be. But I feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm being forced to give up on a dream I've had forever.

Little Miss Erika

It's happening this time.

I've promised myself a lot of things in the past. Like when I was five and promised myself Id be all five foot seven. Ha. That went well. But there are some things that you can promise yourself, as well as control the outcome. So here I am. Saying that by June 14th, I'm gonna get rid of this pot belly stuck to the front of me. Twenty pounds at the least. That gives me eighty nine days to rock some socks off. Now you're probably asking why. Why June fourteenth. Because that is the day I will be spending the night at a Toby Keith concert with Vivian. And I'm sick of feeling so insecure. So I'm changing it. Wish me luck. I'm ready to take on anything.
So I'm having a sugar cookie for breakfast to kick off the fun (;
Little Miss Erika

It was perfect.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Absolutely positively perfect. Amazing. Just. Wow. I can't even write anything because I'm crying so hard. Not crying because I'm so happy it was so perfect. Not crying because it wasn't. It's because it ended. Do you know how hard it is, to watch the only person who I actually think is worth fighting for, walk away, and never knowing when I'm going to see her again? And even if I do know, it's months away. She's so perfect. SO perfect. Wow. She makes me feel like the most amazing girl in the whole world. It's so hard to let her leave. She's just. Ah. I love her. I love her so much it's so hard to let her go.

For  those of you that are considerably confused with this post, let me explain. Tonight was the Miranda Lambert concert in Salt Lake. I went with Vivian. I haven't seen her since who knows when. So, it was kind of a big deal. I've had a countdown since like, December. SO amazing. So amazing. I miss her. My heart hurts. My head is spinning, my ears still pounding. I don't know quite what to do with myself after such a perfect high to such an unberable low. I wish life had a rewind button. A repeat. Do you know how perfect that would be? I could repeat this night over and over again, and I could avoid this crying-icky part of the whole thing coming to an end. I really wasn't planning on crying tonight. I would've worn waterproof make up. But no.

Now just let me be me for a moment, and write down these memories no one will ever understand, but when I look back on this post, I'll know exactly what they mean. I don't want to forget any details.

Well the whole night started with her being late. Yeah. Real late. Well, not totally late. But she left her wallet at home and had to go get it. So we missed the opening act, Jerrod Neimann. We had good seats. Directly in the back and in the middle. We could see the artists perfectly. Amazing.

It went on perfect from that point. We spent the night holding hands, hugging, pretty much tackling each other with love. Wow. Fabulous. Miranda Lambert came on. We stood up and rocked out. Then she did Over You. Wow. I just lost it. I fell to the ground, my head in my hands, and cried. When the song was over I stood up, best I could, and there she was. Right there. With open arms. That I could fall into and cry. And that's what I did. I cried. I let everything out I've been holding in for so long and I cried. And she just hugged.

Something else she said. She said I was beautiful. Not once. A few times. She's the only person that would say that and I would actually believe them.

We also sat for a while, in the lobby of the hotel. She asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I told her I was dead set on one thing, that was never going to happen. It took her a while to get it out of me, to say what I actually wanted to do when I get old. I want to sing. More than anything, I want to be the next Miranda Lambert. And she believes in me! Yeah, she's like practically my mom. She's kinda forced to say nice things. But it's just always nice to know that someone, no matter what their reason, supports you. I love her. I love her so much.

I hope I don't ever forget this feeling. This rush that goes through me when she hugs me. Wow. She makes me feel so amazing. We all have that person. She's mine. She'll always be mine.

<3 <3 <3 <3

Little Miss Erika

So.

Hi. So. Um. I really love Katie Armiger. Just putting that out there. She's. Like. Perfect. Yeah. I love her.