So. Well. I'm not like scared. Okay. I'm scared. But hey. It's like a stupid scared. So. There's only one thing I want to do with my life. One thing. I want to sing. I want to spend my whole life on stage. But no. Everyone else in my life is all go to law school. Go into social work. Don't waste your smarts. My parents are already talking about college and the rest of my entire life. I'm not even in high school! I know I should probably start planning a bit for my future but still, I can't walk away from everything I've wanted to do my whole life. I can't. But what I am supposed to do when my entire family doesn't support the only thing I want to do? I can't imagine spending my life any other way.
Oh, heavens, it almost gets me emotional to think of spending my life any other way. I can't. I know it sounds stupid. Stupid. But I'd do anything to get me to where I want to be. But I feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm being forced to give up on a dream I've had forever.
Little Miss Erika
Sunday, March 18, 2012
It's happening this time.
I've promised myself a lot of things in the past. Like when I was five and promised myself Id be all five foot seven. Ha. That went well. But there are some things that you can promise yourself, as well as control the outcome. So here I am. Saying that by June 14th, I'm gonna get rid of this pot belly stuck to the front of me. Twenty pounds at the least. That gives me eighty nine days to rock some socks off. Now you're probably asking why. Why June fourteenth. Because that is the day I will be spending the night at a Toby Keith concert with Vivian. And I'm sick of feeling so insecure. So I'm changing it. Wish me luck. I'm ready to take on anything.
So I'm having a sugar cookie for breakfast to kick off the fun (;
Little Miss Erika
So I'm having a sugar cookie for breakfast to kick off the fun (;
Little Miss Erika
Saturday, March 17, 2012
It was perfect.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Absolutely positively perfect. Amazing. Just. Wow. I can't even write anything because I'm crying so hard. Not crying because I'm so happy it was so perfect. Not crying because it wasn't. It's because it ended. Do you know how hard it is, to watch the only person who I actually think is worth fighting for, walk away, and never knowing when I'm going to see her again? And even if I do know, it's months away. She's so perfect. SO perfect. Wow. She makes me feel like the most amazing girl in the whole world. It's so hard to let her leave. She's just. Ah. I love her. I love her so much it's so hard to let her go.
For those of you that are considerably confused with this post, let me explain. Tonight was the Miranda Lambert concert in Salt Lake. I went with Vivian. I haven't seen her since who knows when. So, it was kind of a big deal. I've had a countdown since like, December. SO amazing. So amazing. I miss her. My heart hurts. My head is spinning, my ears still pounding. I don't know quite what to do with myself after such a perfect high to such an unberable low. I wish life had a rewind button. A repeat. Do you know how perfect that would be? I could repeat this night over and over again, and I could avoid this crying-icky part of the whole thing coming to an end. I really wasn't planning on crying tonight. I would've worn waterproof make up. But no.
Now just let me be me for a moment, and write down these memories no one will ever understand, but when I look back on this post, I'll know exactly what they mean. I don't want to forget any details.
Well the whole night started with her being late. Yeah. Real late. Well, not totally late. But she left her wallet at home and had to go get it. So we missed the opening act, Jerrod Neimann. We had good seats. Directly in the back and in the middle. We could see the artists perfectly. Amazing.
It went on perfect from that point. We spent the night holding hands, hugging, pretty much tackling each other with love. Wow. Fabulous. Miranda Lambert came on. We stood up and rocked out. Then she did Over You. Wow. I just lost it. I fell to the ground, my head in my hands, and cried. When the song was over I stood up, best I could, and there she was. Right there. With open arms. That I could fall into and cry. And that's what I did. I cried. I let everything out I've been holding in for so long and I cried. And she just hugged.
Something else she said. She said I was beautiful. Not once. A few times. She's the only person that would say that and I would actually believe them.
We also sat for a while, in the lobby of the hotel. She asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I told her I was dead set on one thing, that was never going to happen. It took her a while to get it out of me, to say what I actually wanted to do when I get old. I want to sing. More than anything, I want to be the next Miranda Lambert. And she believes in me! Yeah, she's like practically my mom. She's kinda forced to say nice things. But it's just always nice to know that someone, no matter what their reason, supports you. I love her. I love her so much.
I hope I don't ever forget this feeling. This rush that goes through me when she hugs me. Wow. She makes me feel so amazing. We all have that person. She's mine. She'll always be mine.
<3 <3 <3 <3
Little Miss Erika
For those of you that are considerably confused with this post, let me explain. Tonight was the Miranda Lambert concert in Salt Lake. I went with Vivian. I haven't seen her since who knows when. So, it was kind of a big deal. I've had a countdown since like, December. SO amazing. So amazing. I miss her. My heart hurts. My head is spinning, my ears still pounding. I don't know quite what to do with myself after such a perfect high to such an unberable low. I wish life had a rewind button. A repeat. Do you know how perfect that would be? I could repeat this night over and over again, and I could avoid this crying-icky part of the whole thing coming to an end. I really wasn't planning on crying tonight. I would've worn waterproof make up. But no.
Now just let me be me for a moment, and write down these memories no one will ever understand, but when I look back on this post, I'll know exactly what they mean. I don't want to forget any details.
Well the whole night started with her being late. Yeah. Real late. Well, not totally late. But she left her wallet at home and had to go get it. So we missed the opening act, Jerrod Neimann. We had good seats. Directly in the back and in the middle. We could see the artists perfectly. Amazing.
It went on perfect from that point. We spent the night holding hands, hugging, pretty much tackling each other with love. Wow. Fabulous. Miranda Lambert came on. We stood up and rocked out. Then she did Over You. Wow. I just lost it. I fell to the ground, my head in my hands, and cried. When the song was over I stood up, best I could, and there she was. Right there. With open arms. That I could fall into and cry. And that's what I did. I cried. I let everything out I've been holding in for so long and I cried. And she just hugged.
Something else she said. She said I was beautiful. Not once. A few times. She's the only person that would say that and I would actually believe them.
We also sat for a while, in the lobby of the hotel. She asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I told her I was dead set on one thing, that was never going to happen. It took her a while to get it out of me, to say what I actually wanted to do when I get old. I want to sing. More than anything, I want to be the next Miranda Lambert. And she believes in me! Yeah, she's like practically my mom. She's kinda forced to say nice things. But it's just always nice to know that someone, no matter what their reason, supports you. I love her. I love her so much.
I hope I don't ever forget this feeling. This rush that goes through me when she hugs me. Wow. She makes me feel so amazing. We all have that person. She's mine. She'll always be mine.
<3 <3 <3 <3
Little Miss Erika
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